Hello World.

So, it seems that I will post one blog and then I will forget about it for a few weeks. Woops. HA. So here I am after my abscence of a few day... weeks, whatever. We have been in school... what two, three weeks now. I am already tired of it. Well considering I am only going two days a week for two classes it is REALLY not that bad. This weekend I will make my first trip to the big city for my real estate classes. I took two of my classes through corespondence and for the final three I really wanted a classroom setting so this weekend will be a day and a half trip. Alone. SCARY! But I need to do it, and I know the entire month of Feb I will be panicked but I know it will pay off, somehow. Anywho, Boot camp today. I am really enjoying this class. Tuesdays are my favorite because it is kickboxing day! Tuesday is also my favorite because we do not run on Tuesdays. :):) Ok, so I better get back to work blog world.

All About Nothing

Well, in my spare fifteen minutes before 5:00 I thought I might post a little something. About what I don't know but I am sure if I ramble on for a few mintes I will get to some topic. Well, school starts next week. There's a topic. I feel like this Christmas break has FLOWN by!! WHY?!? I hardley got to spend time with Kristin. :( Well, considering the situation it is alright but I hope I get to see her before she goes back to Arkansas. I really thought this month would creep along. I don't want to drive 30 minutes and back to school. blah. Well atleast Jenny is in two of my classes. Oh, Kaci (you know Kaci) turns 5 tomorrow. FIVE. I remember she was a baby when we moved to Paris. Where did the time go??? We are having her party at a Pretty Princess Room - which is exactly what is in its name. It's a room. In a clothing store. Painted pink. With GLITTER. And a castle on the wall. Any 5 year old girls dream. I am sure there will be hillarious pictures so I will be sure to post those next week after her party on Saturday. Wow, seven more minutes. Hmmm. Well. What's next? OH, I have been addicted to the Food Network website! I look up these really tasty recipes, like I will ever cook them. They are mostly from Paula Dean cause let's face it, as much as I love Rachel Ray, cumin and coreander and endive aren't coming anywhere near my kitchen. I like to look up things that I might actually cook one day.. yes ONE DAY. I do love to cook but it's hard to when you still live at home and there is someone conveniently there to do that for you. THANKS DAD! I like simple things that have amazing flavor. The thing I looked up today was Baked Macaroni and Cheese. YUMM. BUT considering I have started this new bootcamp fitness thing, it doesn't look like too much macaroni or any pasta will be my friend. (but if you won't tell, I won't tell ;) ) So anywho, I guess that's all I have to say about that.

Happy 2008

Since I have not blogged in QUITE some time, and I got a link to my blog.. thought I might give it some fresh-ness since November? December? Anyway, the new year is here. (look at that it rhymed!) I am not making a resolution this year. Actually, now that I think about it, I never have. Woops. I don't think making a rule for myself that I will not follow and then feel guilty about not following it is very bright. So ANYWHO, my 2008 GOALS are not too complicated. But are things I think are important in this point in my life:

1. To become a better WOman of God.
-- Read my Bible and Devotianal and talk to those (Kristin) that I know can help me with questions and I am pretty sure if she cannot help me she has got someone who can. :)
2. To be healthier.
-- I do not want to make the "diet" resolution cause I know I will never follow that. I watched The Biggest Loser Marathon and if a man can lose 200 pounds in a year... I can drink less dr pepper and run every now and again.
3. To be a better student.
-- I was a straight A student in high school. But that changed.. DRASTICALLY. Yes, college is harder but I can do better. READ BOOKS for real. My goodness.
4. To make sure I am happy.
-- I spent a lot of 2007 worrying about what other people. Some of them family and some of them friends. I lost one of my best friends(as in we are not friends anymore) and I was so hurt when it happened but now that it is over I am not worried anymore. I realized she was a burden on me. Why would I want a friend to walk all over me. I have found comfort in a few old friends from grade/middle school that are amazing. I know these people will help me in deciding what may be the best for me. I am not trying to be selfish but to make sure I do not put something so important to someone else in front of what I believe is right. I will not let someone walk over what I believe.

So there you have it. My little list. :)

Have a happy 2008!!!

and the beat goes on..

Yea., well, it has been over two months since I blogged last. I guess I didn't do it because I didn't feel like I had much to say. But now that I am thinking about it, this is kinda a good stress reliever to get all my thoughts out there, and to no one inparticular.

So, what three weeks til Christmas now?!? I am very excited for this year. I am ready for the kids to wake up in the morning and rush down and see want santa has brought them. I treasure every happy moment I have with those two. I am their sister, but sometimes I feel like an aunt because I am so much older than they are. I just love them so much. Matt, who is ADHD and Kaci, ADD, have their problems but on the rare occasions that we all do get along it is amazing. Dad and I had a heart to heart the other night about Matt. The medicine that he is taking now is making him angry and very stressful on the family. They went back to the doctor and he has decided that maybe Matt might need and anti-depressant. This scares me. He is only 9! I mean, yes he does have some anger problems but I don't think it is depression. I have never been to one of these sessions with dad and matt and have never met the doctor but I am skeptical. We looked up online a doctor from California that speacializes in 5 different types of ADHD and one of his treatments is with anti-depressants. I don't know what to think. I want my little brother to be ok but I don't know how extreme this really is. I know that in our lives we should be thankful for the things we are given and should try to look toward the goodness but it seems so hard to right now. Yes, I am thankful for my family and my friends. I pray that he will be alright and I don't know how to help him. I want to do things with him and take him out and do things but it always ends up in a fight. It is just so hard. He has his moments where he is great! I love his sense of humor and whenever he and kaci are not around eacher other, he is usually a very good child. But I am not sure if she annoys him that much or if he just really can't take it.

But for now I will be thankful for the many blessings that I have. Christmas is a time to celebrate loved ones and I fully plan on doing just that. :)

BIRTHDAYS! :)

so in the month of sepetember there have been an abundance of birthdays!!! between cathy, rusty, louie, and tonya at work and angela and of course shannon and kristin's 21st birthdays... it all just sort of ran together. so matt's 9th birthday was on today (the 3rd) but because he has tae kwon do on wednesday nights we decided to have his birthday last night. the WHOLE family went to shogun. matt having never been there was pretty darn excited. One of those places where they cook in front of you. (makes me think of rodney) but anyways. dinner was WONDERFUL as you can see from the empty plates in this picture.

dad sent me to wal mart to pick up matt a cake.. and i am not a wal mart cake fan.. so instead he got a cookie cake with icing. :)
Aunt Renee gave him some money. and he wanted everyone to know. and this is his fake surprise face. hahaha.

but school is in full swing and i am not. I feel like i am just stuck in a rut and want to move ahead but just can't. i want to be successful and i want to be done as soon as possible, but i wonder how in over my head am i? real estate classes have been put on hold but i must find the time to do them becuase i only get a certain amount of time to do them in. I know I will be done eventually but I feel like it is too much right now. Next semester I do not intend on taking this many classes. I am not taking an abundance of classes but it sure feels like it.
I want to grow up and I want to an adult but I want to be a kid also. UGHH. I guess every person goes through this sometime. I will just push through. I can tell myself I can do it and just buckle down and do it.

Things with my mother really have not changed. I rarely speak to her. Which saddens me to a point but then I think do I really want to talk to her all that much. Because everytime I do it just makes things even harder on myself. I want so bad for things to go back to the way she and I were before all of this but I know that will never happen. She and I will never have the relationship we once had. We used to be best friends. And as terrible as it sounds.. I think... what will happen at my wedding? do I want her there? will she pull a stunt? No I am not getting married anytime soon but I wonder about those things. How will I deal with that when the time does come? I hate that it has been this way but it is so hard for me to trust her. I can't do it. And now with my grandmother gone I have no intermediary. I could tell her things and she could tell me and it would be better but now with her gone I don't know what to do. Life has just been so crazy and with all of this on my mind I do not want it to be an excuse but sometimes I just can't help it. I try to pretend like it will just be ok and that I am fine but it really keeps running through my mind. I hate to burden other people with my problems because I don't want them to know or some of them just won't listen but it is hard keeping it all in. I cannot afford to seek professional help but I think maybe that would help. But we will see in time what happen. Will I keep going the way I am going and be fine or will I break down?

But through all of that I do try and be a happy person. I want to keep the positves in my life. I am genuinely a HAPPY person. I love to laugh and smile. I guess we will see in time. :)

back to school...

wow. i have been absent for a while again but hey, it's been busy. I started my first day of official class at Commerce yesterday. Four classes from 8 in the morning til almost 2. I hope I can make it. So far (as of the syllabus in all my classes) none of my tests will be on the same days so I guess my teachers felt sorry for us.

But in other news. We got a new dog. Well we have been supposed to be getting this dog for over a month now but just haven't been able to meet up and get the dog from the breeder. But I kept the kids saturday mornging until about lunch on Sunday. And we all three got up at 6! to go get the dog and of course they didn't want to go back to sleep. I do have to say he is one of the cutest dogs ever, well that and he is my dog! He is a basset hound named Harley. Angela got him a collar that says "Bad to the Bone" with a harley davidson logo on it. SO CUTE! I will get pictures on here as soon as I get them on my laptop.

Well, I really miss one of my best friends. I think she has been gone about three weeks to a month but gosh it feel longer! She is coming home next weekend and I am taking her to lunch for her birthday! Well, not her actual birthday but it's as close as we can get it. Not sure on what kind of present to get her but her surely I can think of... SOMETHING! :)

Well.. I gotta get back to some real estate studying.

CRAZINESSS...

welll well well, quite a while since i have written. still no pictures because my computer at work is extremely ghetto and does not even have a usb port. but i digress. Kristin and I had our last supper/hanging out time last night. I am leaving tomorrow to spend 4 days in San Antonio and she is leaving EARLY monday morning to go back to Arkadelphia for summer band. I am so going to miss her. She and I have gotten so close again this summer.. or well since chrismas actually. it was strange how we went from hardly ever talking to being great friends again. but i am very glad we did. She has helped me through so much this past 6 months.. i am so thankful that I have a friend like her in my life. I saw the commercial that said which friends were your partying buddies and then the moving day buddies. and then it said whcih one would be your friend if you had a mental illness. she is that friend. well neither of us have a mental illness... well you might think that we did if you heard our extremely random conversations. I think we freaked cameron out a little bit. but that's ok. haha.

tomorrow we are leaving to go to San Antonio for a few days with the family. sea world.. WOO HOO! i will be sure to take plenty of picturess.. mostly of the kiddies. haha. i know we will have a big time on the riverwalk... YEA!